Monday, January 1, 2018

Reflecting on a year and honestly 2017 is one of high up and low downs

I wish 2017 was a great year and in some ways it was an amazing year with more adventures I never thought would be possible.
My Husband and I participated in a LDS youth Trek which if you don't know what it is I will post a link for the general idea.
We pushed a hand cart 15 miles up in two days. We camped and were Ma and Pa to 4 girls and 3 boys all between the ages of 14-18 year old. I learned I am a lot stronger than I look. I wouldn't have survived living in the 1800's traveling across the plains during the winter and I need running water and toilets.
I learned so much in the few short days. I met and made friends with so many amazing kids as well as adults and I made sure my voice was heard even when it went against what others wanted.
I grew so much closer to my husband and everyone in a 20 mile area heard he sing the same 10 songs I knew by heart.

I learned how much fun Disneyland can be with my little family of 4. Even though the littlest wasn't able to ride very many rides. He and I were able to have fun together enjoying the spirit of Disneyland. There is something very magical that happens at Disneyland and I don't know what it is but I always feel so much peace even with hundreds of parents, strollers, crazy parents and the endless money we spend I still feel so much joy.

The summer arrived with hot weather and tons of swimming summer school, adventures and a large addition to our family Ellie. Our shelter dog. At first I was ready to send her back to the shelter she is still a ball of anxiety but over the last several months we have been able to enjoy her more and her sweet loving personality. She doesn't bark in the house unless someone is wearing a baseball cap. She loves to snuggle and always knows when someone needs a little love.

School has had it ups and down. Which is part of life of a mom with 4 kids. Three are in school and one is in preschool so I am able to get around 2-3 hours of alone time and boy to I love those hours alone. I get things done or I am able to enjoy the peace and quite of the house. With my needy little fart dog.

The year has also had a lot of sorrow. We have buried two dear friends. Both men died of aggressive lung cancer. neither one smoked or worked where people smoked. They loved the outdoor, they loved there families, they loved there life to the fullest. Each man loved my oldest son. He adore them as well.
Words can not come close to the pain we feel at the loss of these two amazing men.  They left footprints in our hearts and will be greatly missed Not by family or friends but whole communities.

Everyone has struggles they fight. Everyone has sorrow they have to pull themselves out of. Every day I wake up knowing that I choose to fight the sorrow, fight the loss, fight the angry that could pull me down.
I know there is a plan in this would that I can't see but feel.

This year has been rough as a nation, as a family and personally.  People always ask can get it worse? Yes it can always get worse but it can also get better when we see the positive in the world. When we take in the beauty of life around us and remember those we lost left us a legacy we need to work on persevering.

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